I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
