We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
