My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
