I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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