got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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