stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Randomize
