if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
