if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
