Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
