Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
