dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's the barista slut.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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