Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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