you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
