Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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