in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
