woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize