this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize