whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
