i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
