fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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