I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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