Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
