I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
