Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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