So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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