idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
