Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
