my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
