fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
