Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
