that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize