I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
