Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize