Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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