yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
