Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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