this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
