p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
