Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
