It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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