Umm I'm too high to move.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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