butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
