so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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