So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
