The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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