I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
