i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
