this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
