3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
