so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
