I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
