A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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