North Korea, Best Korea!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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