Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
