I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize