We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
