so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
