is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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