Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
