its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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