Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
